Jaspal Bhatti "invents" Cricket-Hockey

Chandigarh : Poking fun at Indian hockey team's failure in the Olympic qualifiers, humourist Jaspal Bhatti Monday claimed to have invented a special "morale-booster" hockey stick for the lovers of the sport.

"The new stick 'cric-hockey' is a half bat and half hockey stick. The new game would have half the rules of hockey and half of cricket. You can score a goal with this stick and also hit a sixer," Bhatti said in a statement here.Read more.............Jaspal Bhatti "invents" cricket-hockey

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Nonsense Club auctions Players like Cattle

India’s great 'Satirist Jaspal Bhatti had earlier floated the 'Nonsense Club' & his band of faithful friends have been successfully selling 'nonsense' for the last 25 years. Welcome to the mad world of the 'Nonsense Club' founded and run by satirist-actor-director-engineer Jaspal Bhatti who hails from Chandigarh.

Now recently Jaspal Bhatti and his Nonsense Club organised a sports “mandi” (marketplace) here in Chandigarh city to sell players like cattle. The sports mandi at the city’s main commercial hub in Sector 17 mocked the recent Indian Premier League (IPL) auction of cricket players.

Bhatti put players from sports like hockey, football, athletics and even kabaddi up for sale.

“The minimum bid for a hockey player will start at Rs.50, football player for Rs.30 and kabaddi player for Rs.20,” Bhatti announced to mock the millions of rupees splurged by corporates on cricket players.

Members of the Nonsense club even sang parodies of old Hindi film songs to highlight the state of commercial cricket.

“Now players should only be playing for the money they get and not for the pride of the nation or for remaining healthy. We want to auction players like cows and buffaloes,” Bhatti said.

He demanded that all sports, which were not contributing to the brand value of industrial goods, should be immediately banned in the country.

He said that gambling and auctioning should be introduced as subjects from primary classes so that children can learn early about such things. He said that auction halls should be set up in all districts and cities to sell players everywhere.

“Any player from any sport who is unable to sell himself should be barred from all international events. Also players should perform depending on what they have been paid,” he said.

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'Nonsense Club' demands drug-deal with US

'Nonsense Club' floated by Satirist Jaspal Bhatti has pulled a new one - this time he wants India to 'sign' a drugs deal with the US and has demanded 'subsidy' for drug peddlers and growers.

Putting up his short skit with his band of 'Nonsense Club' members at the busy Sector 17 plaza in Chandigarh city, Bhatti demanded that drug peddlers should be provided red beacons atop their vehicles and be given security cover since they are involved in a risky business.

The satire was clearly aimed at red beacons and security recently announced by Punjab Chief Minister Parkash Singh Badal for members of the Shiromani Gurudwara Prabandhak Committee (SGPC) to appease them.

'Prime Minister Manmohan Singh should shift his focus from the nuclear deal with the US to a long- term drug deal,' Bhatti said as shoppers and others laughed.

Punjab has emerged as a major transit point in north India for drugs being smuggled from Afghanistan via Pakistan. Chandigarh has emerged as a major buying market for drugs.

Punjab is reported to have a high number of people hooked to drugs.

Bhatti even suggested that organic farming of drugs should be encouraged so that youngsters could get the quality product.

'It would be more profitable for the government to subsidise the drug trade instead of giving free water and electricity to farmers,' Bhatti said.

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